Sunday, November 22, 2009


Really - oops. As mentioned, I am new at this blogging thing and I have now been informed by those in the know that if I'm going to have a blog I should update it every day. In fact, some bloggers apparently update theirs several times a day. Yikes - I'm not sure I have even one interesting thought per week, far less every day, far less several times each day.

Nonetheless, gentle readers (and I am astonished that I actually have any readers but according to my hit counter, over a hundred people have already visited my blog this first week - I know that's nothing compared to the gajillions that a lot of other blogs get, but I am completely delighted that anyone is taking an interest, so thanks!), I am going to commit to trying to somewhat entertain you on a daily basis. Deal?

So, in that vein, here is today's bit of randomness:

When I first arrived here, I had to pick up quite a few essentials for my room and while I was at it, I decided to pick up one non-essential. An orchid. Anyone who knows me is going to be laughing like a drunken hyena at that piece of news, because it is well known that I am a plant killer extraordinaire. The angel of floral death, people - I walk into a plant store and they all flop over and play dead in an effort not to be chosen:

African violet - Don't look at me, lady, I'm already wilting, wiiiiiilting - pick the cactus, he wants to go with you...

Cactus - Shut up, maybe she'll take the orchid - fool doesn't know enough to fall over when The Killer comes in. Now just be quiet, she's heading in that direction.... Yes!!!

Or so I imagine it goes. Anyway, the point is, nothing green lives once I get hold of it - I actually have killed off African violets, ivy, and various cacti (all of which I was assured are unkillable. Yeah, whatever.) among many more fragile plants; I don't have a green thumb when it comes to plants, I have a black thumb. So I don't know what possessed me to suddenly buy an orchid, but I did, and rather lovely it is. And I use the present tense because the damn thing is still alive after three whole weeks - I can't imagine how or why, but it actually seems to be thriving. (But if any of you would like to start running bets on exactly when I will manage to murder the poor thing, please do feel free, I won't be offended.)

None of which is actually relevant but anyway. My point is this: when I purchased the orchid, there was a little sign posted into the soil, which I assumed would be instructions for caring for this innocent flower going to its doom. But no. The sign was a warning not to eat the orchid. Let me just repeat that so that there are no doubts on what it said: not to eat the orchid. And the reason I can be so crystal-clear on this instruction is that it was printed in FOUR languages with a diagram. My mind is officially boggled - is there some orchid-eating addiction that I am unaware of? Some underground movement that gets their kicks from consuming non-edible flowers? And a warning in four languages?? I have actually purchased bladed appliances and pharmaceuticals with less warnings involved; hell, I think there are places in the US where you can buy guns with less warnings involved. So if someone can explain this to me, please do. I know the French eat some...erm...unusual things, but orchids? I'm completely mystified.

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